People dying makes me hungry

When my grandma was dying, I went several times to the hospital to visit her and reward with my company, all those amazing soups, tasty stews and awesome desserts she gave me in the past. In that hospital I witnessed the most disturbing thing ever seen.

In my grandma's room there were three beds. One for her, another for an old lady in her last days too, and then the last one was for a 15 year old anorexic girl. Seeing that situation, I had to ask a doctor why they would put that poor girl in the same room with two dying old ladies. He told me that it was just part of her treatment "Every anorexic is in a room with two dying old people so they know what is life about"

I think that is absolutely insane, my grandma passed away in less than a week, the other lady one day after her, the 15 year old anorexic girl had to be like four months in that room. I calculate she could witness 25 deaths in her stay in that hospital. More madness, when someone died they let the dead body in the room, so when I left that hospital the anorexic girl was watching TV with my dead grandma and a old lady who would die that very same night. My cuestion is: What the fuck are they doing in that hospital? What are they thinking? Do they actually believe that those poor anorexic people are going to start eating because everybody around is dying? What do they expect? That the anorexics tell them: "You were right Doctor, people dying makes me hungry"

That's it, I'm getting myself pregnant tonight

Have you ever thought how would the world be if we were hermaphrodite? If any men or women could impregnate themselves any moment they want? How would that be like? Would there be more or less children in the world?

I think it depends, if we could get pregnant any time we masturbate, the overpopulation would be the main problem in our society, but if we just could get ourselves pregnant any time we want to, there would be less kids for sure. Men or women wouldn't need each other for anything (there would only be one gender) or maybe we would, if we kept our two genders and could have sex, but worhtless sex, just pleasure but not reproduction, the world would be awesome. Don't you think?

Just by changing that thing, our world would be completly different, our social relations and interactions would change a lot. Our life would be really weird and disturbing. Just imagine that guy with a fine work and with his own department lying in his bed with troubles to sleep while feeling lonely thinking: "That's it, I'm getting myself pregnant tonight"

Just pick a masseuse

Masseuses are the best girlfriends possible, doesn't matter how they look or how interesting they are, any time you want it, you get a free massage. Sex is cool, but let's face it, a sex-massage combo is the coolest option possible.

You are watching TV lying on your couch while someone is giving you an amazing massage in your head, a pro massage! That is heaven dude. Who cares she is fat or bald? She is a woman and she has the skills to have you relaxed all the time. In fact, the uglier she is the luckier you are, you won't have any competition, the massuses are very underestimated in our society yet, and since she is ugly she'll want to reward you with one awesome massage everytime you ask for it.

So, forget about supermodels or sex symbols, I bet they don't know how to give massages, and if they do they probably don't want to give them away. She can be blonde, dark-haired or brunette. Whether she is fat or thing, pretty or ugly, young or old, just pick a masseuse my friend.

Halloween in Spain

When I was a kid Halloween in Spain just existed within English classes. No one was interested in that celebration, we have the Carnival, which is pretty much the same. But we live under the clutches of capithalism, and it covers everything. Gradually in Spain the shopping malls started selling and promoting Halloween costumes and stuff. The media started talking about how great Halloween is (using that smart trick of saying something is already happenning when it isn't. If you say everybody is doing something, everybody starts doing something like idiots) and right now, for more or less five years, we celebrate Halloween like one of our most famous celebrations in the year.

I find this sad and annoying, the other day three girls bad dressed with indefinable costums, came to my home and said: "Truco o trato" That crap doesn't make any sense in Spanish, it's a too literally translation. I didn't give them anything but my mother did (She is American) we don't have Halloween culture, when a bunch of stupid kids arrive to some random home, they usually won't get anything but questions: "What did you say about a treatment?" "Who are you again?" "Why are you people in my house?"

I asume this Halloween bullshit is unstoppable already, this war is defeated, media always wins. I just find funny that in Spain people is imitating this traditional American custom and they don't know what for. I'm from a Celt land, Galicia is Celt, so it is Halloween, but I don't care, we've never done this before, we don't even know how doing it. Witnessing it is really sad. The only ones winning here are the ones selling costumes and some other Halloween stuff to the retarded Spaniards, and believe me, we can be very good at sports, but at being retarded no one can beat us.