Sunday, October 31, 2010

Scared from the distance

I have been hearing a lot lately about the "tea party" and all their nutty supporters. Sometimes they say in the news here in Spain that Sarah Palin wants to run for president in the future. Sometimes they interview republican supporters and I listen to what they have to say, and I must confess that their opinions scare me a little bit, they are pretty radical if you ask me.

The US is one of the most powerful countries in the world. Could it ever be ran by such lunatic people? Well, you never know what happens at the polls, but let me tell you, I'm scared from the distance...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Reactions to a train from the hell

I was in Nis (or something like that) It's in Serbia. Well, the truth is I was in Skopje and I wanted to go to Greece, but my stupid friend and I took wrong the train. Two or more hours after the departure, when the Serbian police took our passports we started to doubt we were going to Greece. I approached two girls and asked:

Me: Is this train going to Greece?

Girl (shocked): This goes to Serbia!!

Me: Oops, I wanted to go to Greece

Girl (worried): Oh my God! You should talk to the ticket inspector or something, this goes to Nis!

Me: Bah, don't worry, Greece can wait... How is Nis like?

The girl didn't respond, her friend just stared smiling because she didn't understand English or whatever language we were raping in that cabin. I didn't go to talk to the ticket inspector, he came to talk with me to charge us more money. He was an ass, the idiot saw our tickets only a couple minutes after we boarded, he didn't notice we were in the wrong train, but then he was charging us for our mistake.

Anyways, we spent some time in Nis, pretty nice place by the way. Then we took a train to Bar, that's in Montenegro, Adriatic Sea shore, pretty close to Italy, we were going there to take a boat to Bari. The train lasts almost twuenty hours to make that journey. We did not know that.

We boarded at night, the day had been very sunny and nice, but suddenly a strong storm appeared and got us wet. It was rainning a lot and the water came into the train because some windows were broken, we found ourselves a cabin with fine windows and prepared for the trip. Suddenly I saw a red laser around me and then I heard a couple of shoots, when I thought I would be dead, I noticed a little boy with a fake gun, I ignored him until I saw he was with his big boobs sister, then of course I pretended to be the classic kind guy who loves children.

That always works, his sister was mine at the second minute. Then a shitty ticket inspector came to our cabin and kicked us out, he said we had reservations and our cabin was one a couple yards away, a cabin with a broken window by the way. We argued for awhile but the guy didn't speak English, so we took advantage of that by describing him with a lot of not kind adjetivals. But we ended near a broken window which he tried to fix with some lame rope, that guy must be the McGiver from Nis or something.

Big boobs (I totally forgot her name, I'm awful with people names, don't take this big boobs as a demeaning but as complementary thing please) and his little annoying brother were with their parents, and it seemed like she didn't have space in their cabin, the place was crowded so I invited her to ours, her parents allowed his brother to come for awhile, and that sucked. We were four people with six sits, my friend was trying to sleep, the girl was into me and her brother's time in our cabin was expiring, so at that moment I thought that trip was great. Then a 25 year old male gipsy arrived to our cabin, then the train left.

We chit-chated for more than an hour, then the girl's mother came to took his kid to her cabin and put him to sleep. One obstacle was over, only one to go, so we waited like another hour for the annoying gipsy (not a racist thing, he was annoying no matter his skin, and disturbing too) to fall sleep, then we could hook up. The problem of making out with a girl who has her family in the next cabin is that you don't have complete freedom, any thought of getting laid in that train blowed up when I saw how she went off of me everytime someone passed by the aisle near our cabin. When I saw how dirty, wet and disgusting were the bathrooms I just realised I was wasting my time at all.

Even though it was being a nice trip, those little travelling platonic relationships are cool, the best I would say. We fell sleep and then when I woke up, the comfortable train I thought I was in had became in hell. Our cabin was eventually full of teenagers, some of them really drunk and noisy, eight people for six sits. Big boobs was there, talking to them, I think she was twenty, so she went along with the seventeen years old people, maybe they were twenty too, I couldn't tell, but they were retarded and very noisy.

I wanted to sleep and couldn't, so I kicked my friend and woke him up, I didn't want to go through that alone. Big boobs, who was not as cute as I remembered from the night before, introduced me to the new people but nobody there spoke English. Finally my friend opened his eyes.

Friend: Who the fuck are these noisy people?

Me: I don't know man, I think all of them are going to the beach or something, there are like a hundred teenagers in this train, at least fifty in the aisle smoking and getting drunk

Friend: Are we there yet?

Big boobs: We are almost there, only eight hours for my stop and like eleven for yours

We didn't know that trip was going to be so long, we didn't have any food, we ate all the night before, even offered some to the girl and the gipsy. For a really long time we tried to sleep and couldn't, we witnessed how teenagers argued, fought, made peace, fought again, got drunk, sober, drunk again... And overall how they yelled, all the time, very high levels there. Picture ten hours like that, sleepy, with teenagers all over and not knowing where you are and how much left it is. The view was amazing, the train went across beautiful mountains and lakes, but I couldn't enjoy it at all. By the way, the girl's brother woke up and started pointing me with his red laser and shooting at me with his fake gun all the time, this time no games with him, I sent him to fuck himself very quickly. Did I mention the bathrooms were dirty, wet and not working? I needed to crap (as always) My mp3's battery went off so I didn't have music either.

Every couple of minutes some police for some differents countries came and took all our passports for a lot of time, that train was hell. We just hanged in there really pissed while insulting and complaining, but only big boobs could understand us, due to that, we started insulting just her and she leftt the cabin, last time I saw her. I behaved like an ass. Maybe that wasn't the best reaction. These are other reactions to a train from hell:

1/ Get big boobs pregnant (I think she was anyway, those boobs were unreal)

2/ Get drunk with the teens until I passed out (Then drink more until I passed away)

3/ Being racist with the gipsy and start an argument about why and why not they should have rights (That would be a monologue though)

4/ Take the boy's gun and smash it into pieces (Or just smash the boy into pieces)

5/ Take advantage of the broken window and jump out (I tried, but the stupid ticket revisor made a really good work fixing it)

6/ Get involve in the teenager's fights (Yeah, sure, get my ass kicked was the only thing left for me that day)

7/ Destroy my passport and get arrested when the police come to check them (Spent the rest of my life in a Balkan's jail would've been better than in that train)

8/ Take a dump in the cabin and spread out the teenagers (They were so drunk they didn't notice it, just my friend and I)

9/ Take a mop and clean the train's bathrooms so I can use them (Since big boobs didn't want to... There started our relationship crisis I guess)

10/ Don't breathe until everything just goes away (The gipsy noticed my suicidal attemp and saved my life, what a retarded idiot!)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Che, I'm sorry for you

Have you noticed how many people wear clothes with the Che's picture on it? It's like an epidemic, T-shirts, caps, sweaters, tatoos... There is a whole bussiness behind this dude's face. And I think this is really sad, not because I don't like the Che's history but because I know the Che's history.

This guy was a revolutionary with a very radical socialist idiology, he really heated imperialism, and look now, his face is an icon of imperialism, he is like Nike now. I think if he came to life again and he saw all those people walking around with his face, he would go back to death again, he would be so dissapointed, poor dude, devote his life to his idiology for this, Che, I'm sorry for you.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Old friends

Today an old friend called me, I have to confess that since I moved out from my home town I pretty much broke all contact with it. I started travelling and doing other things. My life in my home town wasn't the healthiest so I think I won with the change. At least I've learned that for sure today.

When an old friend calls you after a couple years without any contact, he would start telling you a lot of things: "That guy had a kid, he is so fucked now" "That other guy is messed up because his girlfriend left him" "My brother is fat as hell now, you won't recognize him for sure"

And you just listen thinking: "Ok man..." Then all the personal questions arrive: "Where are you now?" "You married or what?" "Are you working in the same place?" Then the attemps of getting together: "Dude, you have to come to town with us and have fun like the old days" "What are you doing this week?" "Come on man, we miss you here"

And right now I'm the one who's fucked, one of this days I will have to go to my home town to listen a lot of stories I'm not sure I'm interesed in, tell the same story once and again about where I've been, what I'm doing now...etc. And what for? I think old friends just should meet in periods of 20 or 25 years, that's a real old friend.