Thursday, March 10, 2011

The village's hero

New York has Spiderman, my village has me. It isn't the first time I save someone's ass around here, and that is why I am the savior and protector of this Galician land.

Being a hero is tough, no joke, a lot of responsability. My first deed came when I was like ten years old, a small cousin fell in the escalators and when he was gonna die I raised him (Maybe he wasn't going to die, but he had fallen)

Then I went for one deed to another until someday in the village where I live there was a great flood. My neighbor's hens were dying drowned inside the death trap their house has became, so, braveheart of me got inside that coop and started looking for hens with water on my hips, a black water, very dense, mixed with feces and death bodies. I didn't rescue any hen, but I got dirty and wet, if that isn't heroic what is it?

I don't know guys, there are so many heroism in my short biography. The other day I was at home, wathing TV or reading a book (maybe watching porn) when someone rang, I answered and I heard this:

- Help! Help! I need help please! HELP!!

I'm used to this kind of calls, I'm the village's hero, so I maintained the calm:

- Who are you? Could you come back in ten minutes? I'm in the middle of something right now...

- I'm the neighbor! I need help please! Please!

Since she was sounding really scared I decided to check things up. I put on my suit (a hen's costume I wore when I was five) and got out. At my door was this sweet 17 year old teenager very scared but at the same time very hopeful expecting that her hero: The chickenman, would save her.

She told me someone was in problems, a gate had fell upon her older sister. I ran to her house and then I saw how her sister was lying in the floor with her mother hugging and protecting her. I cleared the zone, touched the girl's legs and asked her if she felt that, she did feel it, but you can never be prudent enough with these things, so I kept touching her, just the most sensitive places, dismiss any medullary damage is very important.

She seemed to be feeling everyhting, so I took my fingers out of her vagina and asked to her mother what had happened. She told me her doughter was openning the gate when it fell over her, she was stuck for a couple minutes but her other doughter and her could get her out. I told her we should call an ambulance, she agreed on that. I called the ambulance and then we waited, in the cold, it was really cold, my hen's costume isn't the wormest.

Ten minutes later the ambulance arrived and took the poor girl to the hospital, I went back home and had a shower. Another person had been saved by me, by the hero. Living in my village can be boring, but with me here, you'll be always safe.

Grettings, and remember, I can save you one or a hundred times, but is important you take care of yourself, fellow.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous28/3/11

    The village's heroic pedophile, interesting...