If you have been reading any of my blogs at this point you probably already realize that I’m a complete idiot. But please don’t confuse this clearly obvious fact with a lack of self-esteem on my part.
The reality is that I have above average insight into my own stupidity, which makes me actually a pretty unique individual. Trust me, I see stupidity around me on a daily basis on people that simply don’t see it in themselves. They live in this kind of delusional state in which they see themselves almost on the same pedestal as the imaginary God they worship.
So since we are on this topic, let’s talk about God for a little while. I’m starting to get to an age where I can no longer afford to ignore religion anymore. If you have read any of my previous entries, you probably realize too that I might not have much longer to live. My own stupidity is likely to do me in sooner or later. Whether it is drowning myself accidentally while trying to drink a glass of water too fast, or simply forgetting to wake up one morning, I’m starting to feel some existential anxiety about what is going to happen to me once I die.
For this reason I entered a journey of discovery to find the one true religion before it is too late. The last thing that I want to do is to miss out on some grand price after death just because of ignorance and stupidity. Heck, if I’m not getting laid in life, I might as well hope for seventy-two virgins waiting for me once I move to the other side. With my luck, that is exactly what is going to happen, I will choose wrong and then be stuck watching how some other lucky dog fools around with the virgins.
But what if there is a good reason those seventy-two ladies are virgins? Or what if during my mid life crisis I decide I’m gay, will I get seventy-two dudes? These are really hard questions to answer. So for the sake of argument, let’s just say that Islam is a bunch of crap and Christianity is the real one? I can just picture myself in front of God asking him for the seventy-two virgins, begging to access heaven to see if they are waiting for me there. If God actually reads my blogs I might as well head straight to hell without talking to him. But then I wonder, what if the true religion is some kind of obscure religion developed in some remote village in Asia? I’m too lazy to actually do any research in this area, it is like a sinister lottery the way I see it.
You have dozens of religions to pick from, and all of them are completely nonsense except for one, but which one? Should I become a Mormon, sometimes I wonder, that Joseph Smith guy just sounds like a really cool dude, one of us really, and I could go for the whole polygamy thing too, so maybe I should become a fundamentalist Mormon. Or maybe scientology is the way to go. It is pretty cool to think that my spirit could be immortal, or pretty scary if you consider that I might just keep writing this blog for all eternity…
To be honest, I think I’m doomed whatever I do. With my luck, the chances that I will pick the right religion to follow are closed to zero, which means that it is highly likely that I would end up following some type of nonsensensical religion to begin with. But now that I think about it, there is even a more disturbing possibility out there. What if the true religion is yet to be discovered? Really, more than a true religion what human kind is searching for is a satisfying explanation about the origin of life and its purpose.
If we look at it this way, hasn’t science long past religion as a more sensible explanation for some aspects of our existence? The theory of evolution might or might not be true, but it surely makes more sense and has more scientific support than any alternative explanation at this point. So for now, I think this lazy idiot is just going to wait for science to do all the work for me, and you should pray that my spirit is not eternal because I might just keep writing nonsense for eternity.
Eternity sounds like a long, long time, too much for my taste. Could I wait for science to do my work while petting my balls on and on just waiting for death? Well, yeah, maybe... I can, but that is just because I am really lazy. The truth is I am so lazy that I only have sex during earthquakes (yeah, you wish)
The thing is that I write this blog for you, not for me (once again... yeah, you wish) I really care about you, whoever is reading this lame crap. Let´s be honest, my soul has sailed, I’m already fucked, but you, you my friend, you still have time, you can still be saved, and that’s the reason why I made some research just for you. Here are some foolproof ways of reaching salvation:
1/ Get into Christianity. Study about the hippy Jew. Eat his flesh. Sing his songs. Pray his prayers. Give him money to light some candles, get new bibles and more comfortable sits in church, perhaps better wine. Give them some more money to feed priests, nuns, monks, archbishops, abbots, abbes, cardinals, popes and basically all of Vatican’s population and some more religious workers we don’t even know exist. Sure, they will make you feel guilty about being alive, remind you at every step of all your sins, real or imagined, past or present (how the fuck is it my fault that Adam ate the damn apple?), but if you find the right priest he might offer you salvation (if you suck hard enough).
2/Fuck gentiles and join the only real religion. Judeism of course... They are rich, they have lots of money, savings in the bank and they even... well... some of them are actually quite funny, mostly because they make fun of themselves... Ok, let’s face it, the odds of Judaism leading to salvation are quite long, but who cares if you go out in style (like by hitting your head against the wall a tad to strongly).
3/ You can always embrace Islam. I honestly think this is the most committed religion. It is a religion of peace if you are not an infidel, in which case you deserve to be beheaded. I find such passion very appealing, there are no halfway measures here, you live life to the fullest, and then death brings an eternity of orgasmic pleasures (How long do you think it takes to give it to all seventy-two virgins? I’m guessing about 48 hours, tops, not trying to brag, I made the math. Every male and lesbian should strongly consider this religion).
4/Sign in for Hinduism and discover a brand new world of craziness. There are a lot of types, but the most important thing you should know is they have reencarnation. If you want to reborn as a different person this is your religion (Budism would be my favorite brand, except for the fact that I could only be reborn as an inferior being, there is no way but down for me, so not very appealing…)
5/ Confucianism and Taoism. Don’t choose these ones, they are bullshit, they would respect too much your opinion, your life style, other religions... The true religion can’t be so soft, you need some blood on your hands to have any real chance at Salvation (anything less is just a lack of commitment).
6/ Then you’d have a lot of different folk religions around the world, impossible choosing one, not just because they are so many but because they are completely insane (And let’s be honest, God doesn’t seem to care too much about them, just take a look at your friends the Native Americans)
7/ Mormonism, I personally love this one. Some yank thought one day that he didn’t like Christianity and decided to extract his own religion from it adding some smart things like poligamy, tough taxes, and traveling missions. It is hard not to root for Mormonism as the true religion (unless you are not American, of course, and then you probably think those people are just smoking crack).
8/ Scientology can be a safe call. No one could believe such an insane thing if it wasn’t true. And it is one of the most expensive if not the most, which clearly serves as proof of its veracity. You won’t get into Heaven for free pal, so you better start saving if you want to save your soul (they really one upped the Mormons on this one, this is American capitalism at its best).
9/You can always join homosexualism. They have great fun outfits, they make cool parades, they have good jobs, they are good looking, they are more everyday, and even though they walk weird and they have some disgusting and painful rituals they seem to be happy (What? It is not a religion? Damn, I shouldn’t have made that deep research of this topic I guess)
10/ Forget about everything and just join a sect, but not just any sect, join the reptilians, they are awesome. They believe in cloning themselves and then put their memories inside the clones, they think they are extraterrestrials, and the greatest thing, they thing that the people that lead our world are reptiles undercover manipulating us in order to exterminate us or whatever (David Icke is the man! You won’t reach salvation, but you are going to have a lot of fun trying to unmask all these reptiles like Obama, Queen of England or Kris Kristofferson)
After deep thought, I have made my decision, but I won’t try to poison your mind or influence your decision by offering it to you. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be saved, my reasoning is fool proof, and I think you might have a good chance at salvation as well, just have faith my friend.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Ways of hurting myself
As a matter of fact I am stupid. I always choose the wrong ways of behaving and I suffer it physically. These are some ways of hurting myself:
1/ I was going to take a plane. They gave me the ticket in the check-in desk, then I had to put my passport back in my backpack, to do so, I had to hold the ticket with my mouth. And then, when I put the passport in its place and I wanted to take the ticket off my mouth, I found out the ticket was stuck in my lip. I tried to take it off but couldn't, it wasn't coming off. Finally, after a few tough seconds I decided to pull very hard and it came off. But my lip started bleeding (I did not find it funny, people around did)
2/ I was going to sleep. I dropped myself on my bed very tired and my head crashed with the wall (I had a rough time to falling sleep that night)
3/ Someone told me: - Do not touch that, it is very hot. I touched that and got burned (Not the only want right?)
4/ I went to the movies to watch "Stardust" (I'm still recovering from the damages)
5/ I tried to impress a group of females by jumping from I high bridge to the sea (It came I did not have the skills to impress them or jumping)
6/ Someone told me: - If you don't know how to use a skate you should not go down there. I went down there and even more down than down there (Lot of wounds from this particularly one)
7/ For some reason I thought going through the stairs skipping two steps every step was a fun thing to do (I was mistaken)
8/ I had sunblock. I just thought I was to cool to put sunblock on. I got sunburned in several places (I looked like a disgusting fucking English or German in Marbella for a couple weeks)
9/ It seems like is very difficult for me to put my penis through the pant's zipper to pee (understand what you want)
10/ I am so lazy I wanted to cut my nails so short so they would last to grow and I wouldn't have to cut them again soon. Not my best idea (Did you know you can bleed by your nails?)
1/ I was going to take a plane. They gave me the ticket in the check-in desk, then I had to put my passport back in my backpack, to do so, I had to hold the ticket with my mouth. And then, when I put the passport in its place and I wanted to take the ticket off my mouth, I found out the ticket was stuck in my lip. I tried to take it off but couldn't, it wasn't coming off. Finally, after a few tough seconds I decided to pull very hard and it came off. But my lip started bleeding (I did not find it funny, people around did)
2/ I was going to sleep. I dropped myself on my bed very tired and my head crashed with the wall (I had a rough time to falling sleep that night)
3/ Someone told me: - Do not touch that, it is very hot. I touched that and got burned (Not the only want right?)
4/ I went to the movies to watch "Stardust" (I'm still recovering from the damages)
5/ I tried to impress a group of females by jumping from I high bridge to the sea (It came I did not have the skills to impress them or jumping)
6/ Someone told me: - If you don't know how to use a skate you should not go down there. I went down there and even more down than down there (Lot of wounds from this particularly one)
7/ For some reason I thought going through the stairs skipping two steps every step was a fun thing to do (I was mistaken)
8/ I had sunblock. I just thought I was to cool to put sunblock on. I got sunburned in several places (I looked like a disgusting fucking English or German in Marbella for a couple weeks)
9/ It seems like is very difficult for me to put my penis through the pant's zipper to pee (understand what you want)
10/ I am so lazy I wanted to cut my nails so short so they would last to grow and I wouldn't have to cut them again soon. Not my best idea (Did you know you can bleed by your nails?)
Friday, August 13, 2010
Reactions to taking a photo to a demanding couple
I miss the past. Earth is turning on too fast. Do you remember ten years ago when people just go out with a wallet and keys? Now everything has changed, today we are some kind of videogame’s character going around full of items. I don’t know in America, but here in Spain most of guys are using purses (They call them big wallets, but believe me, they are purses)
I go around and all I see is people manipulating their cell phones, I go to a concert and all I see is people taping the concert. You are already watching it! Why the fuck do you need to tape it? Enjoy it bitch! (If you can enjoy Spanish singers…) I think people don’t live anymore, they tape life to watch it at home, to show it. They need to show, we have to prove everything in this edge:
- Have you been in the concert last night?
- Yes, I have
- If that’s true prove it! Show me you were there! Where is your video mother fucking liar?!
I watch on TV a journalist with his camera and his microphone in the street and all I see is people behind him taping him… Why do you guys do that? They have a better camera, a pro camera. If you want the video watch it in your TV, don’t tape his back with your disgusting cheap mobile.
When I was a boy if I watched myself in a TV I would freak out. That was cool, if I went to a mall and there were those cameras taping everything connected to a monitor I would spend the whole day putting faces and being on air… But now, for today kids being on TV is as normal as breathing. Everything is taped, their whole life is taped, being on TV is not a big deal, you don’t see kids putting faces to mall’s cameras anymore. And that is very sad.
And finally, approaching to today’s point. Do you remember when couples used to ask you to take them a photo, you take the photo, they say thank you, you say you are welcome, they say goodbye, and you leave? That was life uh? Now this is completely impossible, everybody must be an almost professional photographer. I swear when I had to take a photo to someone I always did my best. But since they were those cameras you had to wait a couple days to see your photos whether I did it well or wrong it didn’t matter… How I miss those cameras!
Now when someone asks you to take a photo is like a surprise exam. You know you have to do it well, because that someone is going to check in his camera your work, and more than this: He is going to mark you, you are going to pass or fail. Indifference is not an option.
So, there I was, in a pretty touristic Galician place, beautiful Celts historical remains. A thirty year old couple approached me and asked me if I could take them a photo, I said yes. They hugged, showed me their love stills alive and I took the photo. Then I gave them back their digital camera and thought I was done. I was mistaken. This is what happened:
I give them back the camera and start walking away. The probably not good fucked girlfriend sees my picture in her camera. Her face says she doesn’t like it. She shows it to her probably tiny dick boyfriend and his face says he doesn’t like it. He calls me. I turn:
Boyfriend: Excuse me sir… Could you take us another picture please? This one seems to be a little bit moved…
Me: Oh, I’m sorry… Thought it was okay… Sure I can, give it to me
Girlfriend: Thank you a lot… It was pretty moved though
I take the camera. They pose showing me their love again. I put effort on my work: I assure myself they are in the centre of the picture, that behind them is the Celt’s stuff, that some sky is in the target too… In resume, I take and awesome photo. I give the camera back to the man this time. He sees the picture. His face says he doesn’t know what to think. He shows his girlfriend. Her face says she doesn’t like it.
Girlfriend: This one is moved as well honey…
Me: Is it?
Boyfriend: Yeah man, sorry… You have to be careful, this camera is very sensitive, try again please
Me: Ok, give it to me
I take the camera. I put a lot of effort this time. More effort than I put in anything in my whole life. Couple in the middle, hugged as always, smiling as always, sky on top, Celt’s stuff behind, even I recall a fucking bird around. I take one of the best pictures ever taken. The boyfriend comes to me as soon as I finished and he takes the camera off my hands. He sees the picture. His face is unreadable. He shows his girlfriend. Her face says she is pissed.
Girlfriend: Is this a joke?
Me: Excuse me?
Girlfriend: This picture is awful, just awful… Honey, are you seeing this? It’s awful…
Me: Are you sure? It seemed perfectly fine to me
Boyfriend: Bub, this picture is fucked up… Have a look
He gives me the camera back. I see the picture I just took. It looks like a perfectly normal picture, not moved, centered, both are with a nice gesture, it is great photo.
Me: What seems to be the problem? I find this picture really cool
Girlfriend laughs cynically being insulted. She looks to her boyfriend looking for male protection.
Boyfriend: Take us another one and let’s get over it already
Me: Okay…
Once again I put a lot of effort in the thing. I take care of every little detail and then I push the button. I look the picture carefully before give the camera back. The photo is good. I give the camera to the girlfriend expecting a thank you and a good bye. She sees the picture with an angry look. She looks at me very mad.
Girlfriend: You are enjoying this aren’t you? Is this how you have fun around this place? Honey! Look at this crap!
The boyfriend sees the picture. He and I know the photo is perfectly fine but since he is a short dick piece of shit without personality he pretends he is mad at me.
Boyfriend: Is that difficult for you to take a properly picture pal? Are you seven years old?
Me: I’m sorry I’m not a professional photographer… I think all the pictures I took are perfectly fine though
Girlfriend: Your pictures are shit and you know it (And yes, here the girlfriend crossed the line that divides me in a good and a bad person)
Me: Are they shit uh?
Girlfriend: Worst piece of shit pictures I’ve ever seen
Me: Okay… Brad and Angie… I did my best, but maybe the material I’m working with is weak Didn’t you think in that possibility? That maybe the pictures are awful because you guys are an ugly couple, a really ugly couple… And of course, it’s very difficult to take a good picture to a pregnant woman…
Girlfriend: I am not… How dare are you scumbag?
Me: I’m sorry you are a two. One point for each breast, that’s the only thing that saves you. For the rest, you have a really fat ass, huge ass, fat tummy, you are actually fatty everywhere… Your face is ugly, big nose, bad made up, your eyebrows are gone Why fatties like you always take away the eyebrows? Do you really think that makes you look thinner? You are wrong! (She wasn’t that fat, she actually was a five or a six, the classic woman a little bit overweighed with great teats and a cute face, but you know, I was pissed)
The girlfriend looks to her boyfriend expecting a defense. The boyfriend tries to defend his girlfriend. I get ready to run because the boyfriend can easily beat me.
Boyfriend: You are a piece of shit, even more than your fucking pictures! Do you have mirrors at home? Because you are the ugliest bastard here
Me: Does it mean I have a chance with your girl then? Because she is clearly into ugly dudes… Your nose is huge and disgusting, I can see hairs coming out of it and that repulses me. You are bald, with huge eyebrows… Did she lend you hers or what?
The boyfriend gets aggressive and his girlfriend holds him.
Girlfriend: Let’s go honey, he doesn’t worth our time, he worth a shit.
They leave and I go back to the people I was with. They ask me where I was. I tell them my story. They laugh at me and make fun of me. I think I reacted like and idiot. These are better reactions to taking a photo to an exigent couple:
1/ Be patient and keep taking them photos until they were satisfied (Let’s be honest, my photos stunk)
2/ Explain to them I’m doing my best and that they can not be so demanding with random photographers like myself (What was all that shit about? What did they expect? A fucking Marie Claire cover?)
3/ Ask to another person to take them the bloody photo (Don’t let him go until I found the photo really good taken)
4/ Approach the woman while she was mad, give her a really wet kiss and run away (I liked her)
5/Take just photos of the woman’s breast (That’s pretty much what I did)
6/ Run away with their camera and never go back (I need to practise my photo’s skills)
7/ Smash the camera into pieces in front of their demanding faces (Complain about the low quality of their disgusting fucking camera)
8/ Through the camera to their faces causing them bleeding wounds (Their huge noses would have stopped the hit without problems. There are a lot of couples with huge noses don’t you think? I just leave it there)
9/ Take photos of my cock while they were looking to the other way (Then they will know what a good picture is)
10/ Take a Celtic’s sword and decapitate them. Then set their heads and their bodies according to my taste and take a great professional photo (Would have been funny putting her head over his body and vice versa)
I go around and all I see is people manipulating their cell phones, I go to a concert and all I see is people taping the concert. You are already watching it! Why the fuck do you need to tape it? Enjoy it bitch! (If you can enjoy Spanish singers…) I think people don’t live anymore, they tape life to watch it at home, to show it. They need to show, we have to prove everything in this edge:
- Have you been in the concert last night?
- Yes, I have
- If that’s true prove it! Show me you were there! Where is your video mother fucking liar?!
I watch on TV a journalist with his camera and his microphone in the street and all I see is people behind him taping him… Why do you guys do that? They have a better camera, a pro camera. If you want the video watch it in your TV, don’t tape his back with your disgusting cheap mobile.
When I was a boy if I watched myself in a TV I would freak out. That was cool, if I went to a mall and there were those cameras taping everything connected to a monitor I would spend the whole day putting faces and being on air… But now, for today kids being on TV is as normal as breathing. Everything is taped, their whole life is taped, being on TV is not a big deal, you don’t see kids putting faces to mall’s cameras anymore. And that is very sad.
And finally, approaching to today’s point. Do you remember when couples used to ask you to take them a photo, you take the photo, they say thank you, you say you are welcome, they say goodbye, and you leave? That was life uh? Now this is completely impossible, everybody must be an almost professional photographer. I swear when I had to take a photo to someone I always did my best. But since they were those cameras you had to wait a couple days to see your photos whether I did it well or wrong it didn’t matter… How I miss those cameras!
Now when someone asks you to take a photo is like a surprise exam. You know you have to do it well, because that someone is going to check in his camera your work, and more than this: He is going to mark you, you are going to pass or fail. Indifference is not an option.
So, there I was, in a pretty touristic Galician place, beautiful Celts historical remains. A thirty year old couple approached me and asked me if I could take them a photo, I said yes. They hugged, showed me their love stills alive and I took the photo. Then I gave them back their digital camera and thought I was done. I was mistaken. This is what happened:
I give them back the camera and start walking away. The probably not good fucked girlfriend sees my picture in her camera. Her face says she doesn’t like it. She shows it to her probably tiny dick boyfriend and his face says he doesn’t like it. He calls me. I turn:
Boyfriend: Excuse me sir… Could you take us another picture please? This one seems to be a little bit moved…
Me: Oh, I’m sorry… Thought it was okay… Sure I can, give it to me
Girlfriend: Thank you a lot… It was pretty moved though
I take the camera. They pose showing me their love again. I put effort on my work: I assure myself they are in the centre of the picture, that behind them is the Celt’s stuff, that some sky is in the target too… In resume, I take and awesome photo. I give the camera back to the man this time. He sees the picture. His face says he doesn’t know what to think. He shows his girlfriend. Her face says she doesn’t like it.
Girlfriend: This one is moved as well honey…
Me: Is it?
Boyfriend: Yeah man, sorry… You have to be careful, this camera is very sensitive, try again please
Me: Ok, give it to me
I take the camera. I put a lot of effort this time. More effort than I put in anything in my whole life. Couple in the middle, hugged as always, smiling as always, sky on top, Celt’s stuff behind, even I recall a fucking bird around. I take one of the best pictures ever taken. The boyfriend comes to me as soon as I finished and he takes the camera off my hands. He sees the picture. His face is unreadable. He shows his girlfriend. Her face says she is pissed.
Girlfriend: Is this a joke?
Me: Excuse me?
Girlfriend: This picture is awful, just awful… Honey, are you seeing this? It’s awful…
Me: Are you sure? It seemed perfectly fine to me
Boyfriend: Bub, this picture is fucked up… Have a look
He gives me the camera back. I see the picture I just took. It looks like a perfectly normal picture, not moved, centered, both are with a nice gesture, it is great photo.
Me: What seems to be the problem? I find this picture really cool
Girlfriend laughs cynically being insulted. She looks to her boyfriend looking for male protection.
Boyfriend: Take us another one and let’s get over it already
Me: Okay…
Once again I put a lot of effort in the thing. I take care of every little detail and then I push the button. I look the picture carefully before give the camera back. The photo is good. I give the camera to the girlfriend expecting a thank you and a good bye. She sees the picture with an angry look. She looks at me very mad.
Girlfriend: You are enjoying this aren’t you? Is this how you have fun around this place? Honey! Look at this crap!
The boyfriend sees the picture. He and I know the photo is perfectly fine but since he is a short dick piece of shit without personality he pretends he is mad at me.
Boyfriend: Is that difficult for you to take a properly picture pal? Are you seven years old?
Me: I’m sorry I’m not a professional photographer… I think all the pictures I took are perfectly fine though
Girlfriend: Your pictures are shit and you know it (And yes, here the girlfriend crossed the line that divides me in a good and a bad person)
Me: Are they shit uh?
Girlfriend: Worst piece of shit pictures I’ve ever seen
Me: Okay… Brad and Angie… I did my best, but maybe the material I’m working with is weak Didn’t you think in that possibility? That maybe the pictures are awful because you guys are an ugly couple, a really ugly couple… And of course, it’s very difficult to take a good picture to a pregnant woman…
Girlfriend: I am not… How dare are you scumbag?
Me: I’m sorry you are a two. One point for each breast, that’s the only thing that saves you. For the rest, you have a really fat ass, huge ass, fat tummy, you are actually fatty everywhere… Your face is ugly, big nose, bad made up, your eyebrows are gone Why fatties like you always take away the eyebrows? Do you really think that makes you look thinner? You are wrong! (She wasn’t that fat, she actually was a five or a six, the classic woman a little bit overweighed with great teats and a cute face, but you know, I was pissed)
The girlfriend looks to her boyfriend expecting a defense. The boyfriend tries to defend his girlfriend. I get ready to run because the boyfriend can easily beat me.
Boyfriend: You are a piece of shit, even more than your fucking pictures! Do you have mirrors at home? Because you are the ugliest bastard here
Me: Does it mean I have a chance with your girl then? Because she is clearly into ugly dudes… Your nose is huge and disgusting, I can see hairs coming out of it and that repulses me. You are bald, with huge eyebrows… Did she lend you hers or what?
The boyfriend gets aggressive and his girlfriend holds him.
Girlfriend: Let’s go honey, he doesn’t worth our time, he worth a shit.
They leave and I go back to the people I was with. They ask me where I was. I tell them my story. They laugh at me and make fun of me. I think I reacted like and idiot. These are better reactions to taking a photo to an exigent couple:
1/ Be patient and keep taking them photos until they were satisfied (Let’s be honest, my photos stunk)
2/ Explain to them I’m doing my best and that they can not be so demanding with random photographers like myself (What was all that shit about? What did they expect? A fucking Marie Claire cover?)
3/ Ask to another person to take them the bloody photo (Don’t let him go until I found the photo really good taken)
4/ Approach the woman while she was mad, give her a really wet kiss and run away (I liked her)
5/Take just photos of the woman’s breast (That’s pretty much what I did)
6/ Run away with their camera and never go back (I need to practise my photo’s skills)
7/ Smash the camera into pieces in front of their demanding faces (Complain about the low quality of their disgusting fucking camera)
8/ Through the camera to their faces causing them bleeding wounds (Their huge noses would have stopped the hit without problems. There are a lot of couples with huge noses don’t you think? I just leave it there)
9/ Take photos of my cock while they were looking to the other way (Then they will know what a good picture is)
10/ Take a Celtic’s sword and decapitate them. Then set their heads and their bodies according to my taste and take a great professional photo (Would have been funny putting her head over his body and vice versa)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
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