Monday, July 5, 2010

Reasons why my tongue is fucked up

Yeah, you heard right, my tongue is fucked up. It started in Arizona I think. I felt itchiness, then pain and then when I checked out in front of the mirror I saw a little wound. After a few days it went away, but after another few days it came back. I’ve been suffering this situation for almost four months already. I have a wound in my tongue coming and going every fucking week more or less.

I had an interesting debate with myself due to all this: Tongue is dentist’s or family doctor’s territory? Should I go to my doctor or should I go directly to my dentist? Whoever I go is a thirty minutes ride, that’s probably why country people are so fucked up, we are too lazy to drive an hour just to visit a doctor. We prefer death over step in an urban city.

I checked on the internet and it seems like I have a “geographic tongue” That is my auto-diagnosis. At this point of my life I just assume resentful that I suffer diseases that affect only 1% of population. I can handle it. I can live with permanent pain in my tongue What the hell! I just use it when I drink, eat, talk, kiss, fellate myself, yawn or sneeze.

The truth is I don’t know why is this happening to me. I would love to know what I did wrong. As always I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I came out with some possibilities. These are some reasons why my tongue is fucked up:

1/ It isn’t my fault. In the internet they said that people with stress can suffer this disease in their tongues (Stress? Stress? I don’t have stress at all father fuckers!)

2/ It isn’t my fault. This disease just appears in the youth to some people, as it came it can go away (Sure, same thing they told me with the premature ejaculation)

3/ It isn’t my fault. Maybe the spicy Mexican food I ate in Arizona is the responsible of that. Mexicans have the guilt (Mexicans probably have the guilt of my urine incontinence too)

4/ Maybe it’s my fault. I don’t flush enough and that’s why my mouth is so messed up (Missing a tooth, wounds in my tongue, bad breathe, double uvula… Wow! I’m almost not attractive)

5/ It’s probably my fault. Taking that mood off of my bike’s wheel licking doesn’t seem such a good idea now (It was the only way of reaching the hard spaces though)

6/ It could be my fault. For pretend having my whole teeth I painted my tongue’s tip in white colour and emplaced it in the missing tooth’s spot (Who am I going to fool? I painted it yellow… Dark yellow is the colour of my teeth okay!)

7/ It’s my fault. I should haven’t performed cunnilingus to her (The elderly just forget about they personal hygiene sometimes)

8/ It’s my fault because I’m the opposite of a pyromaniac, I’m an icemaniac. I freeze everything I can and then I lick on it (It isn’t the biggest of my problems… I’m still waiting for that mother fucking horse to get completely frozen while ice is getting more expensive every year)

9/ It’s definitive my fault. Writing this blog taping just with my tongue isn’t a challenge that really worth it anymore (The guy who I bought the keyboard from was even more idiot than me though, he was writing his blog taping just with his dick. What a prick!)

10/ It’s completely my fault. I ran off of weed and started smoking stinging nettles (Then I ran off of stinging nettles and started smoking wild death animal’s guts)

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