Ways of hurting myself

As a matter of fact I am stupid. I always choose the wrong ways of behaving and I suffer it physically. These are some ways of hurting myself:

1/ I was going to take a plane. They gave me the ticket in the check-in desk, then I had to put my passport back in my backpack, to do so, I had to hold the ticket with my mouth. And then, when I put the passport in its place and I wanted to take the ticket off my mouth, I found out the ticket was stuck in my lip. I tried to take it off but couldn't, it wasn't coming off. Finally, after a few tough seconds I decided to pull very hard and it came off. But my lip started bleeding (I did not find it funny, people around did)

2/ I was going to sleep. I dropped myself on my bed very tired and my head crashed with the wall (I had a rough time to falling sleep that night)

3/ Someone told me: - Do not touch that, it is very hot. I touched that and got burned (Not the only want right?)

4/ I went to the movies to watch "Stardust" (I'm still recovering from the damages)

5/ I tried to impress a group of females by jumping from I high bridge to the sea (It came I did not have the skills to impress them or jumping)

6/ Someone told me: - If you don't know how to use a skate you should not go down there. I went down there and even more down than down there (Lot of wounds from this particularly one)

7/ For some reason I thought going through the stairs skipping two steps every step was a fun thing to do (I was mistaken)

8/ I had sunblock. I just thought I was to cool to put sunblock on. I got sunburned in several places (I looked like a disgusting fucking English or German in Marbella for a couple weeks)

9/ It seems like is very difficult for me to put my penis through the pant's zipper to pee (understand what you want)

10/ I am so lazy I wanted to cut my nails so short so they would last to grow and I wouldn't have to cut them again soon. Not my best idea (Did you know you can bleed by your nails?)