Sunday, April 18, 2010

Reactions to a younger girl´s interest in a train

I was on a train around Europe with a friend and an Italian buddy of ours. We were tired and sleepy, when the team you were supporting wins its first title in fifty years you don’t get to sleep enough. The Eurocup had just finished, Spain had won it and our trip had ended. We had to get back to Spain, but we were broke in Austria using a soon expired Eurail passes. They are those all-you-can travel train tickets that people backpack across Europe with. Of course we didn’t have a seat (People with Eurail passes are victims of hate around those trains, watch out if you are willing to go)

So we were sitting on the floor near a bathroom, trying to get through the trip as well as we could. I really wanted to sleep but I couldn’t, I can in a train’s seat but I can’t on the floor while I have to constantly move out of the way for people with seats to get to the bathroom. My goal on that train was as simple as this: Get a fucking seat and sleep!

In the car in front of us was an excursion of a camp or something like that. It was full of teens, a group of five or six were staring at us and waving the whole time. I’m pretty ugly but sometimes I find girls who think I look exactly like the love of their lives. I guess some of them were on that train that day.

After waving, staring, screaming and going to the bathroom every five minutes, the interaction began. They were a group of five or six girls with no more than fourteen years. I was 21, my friend was 24 and I don’t have a clue about the Italian’s age, but he was older than me for sure. Those groups of teens are better organized than people think. They have a hierarchy, a strong leader, solids ranks, predetermined objectives, a well-studied way of working and the most important thing, they think they are unstoppable and they are probably right.

They sent two soldiers at the beginning to recognize the target. The soldiers were a fatty outgoing girl and a shyer regular one. They asked the typical teen questions: What are your names? Where are you from? Do you speak German? And English? What are you doing here? Can we stay here with you and talk? Can our friends come too? And we answered the typical idiot’s answers:

Me: - Prince Second
Friend: - Prince Third…
The Italian: - Francesco

Me: - I was born somewhere in the Sea while my mother was running away from the Spanish inquisition accused of witchcraft in an inflatable raft
Friend: We are twins…
The Italian: - I’m from Milano (Yes, the Italian didn’t go along with our humour very well)

Me: - Only in the privacy of my home
Friend: - I’m the one who he talks to…
Italian: - No, German is very hard

Me: - I tried once, not my thing
Friend: - I’m from NY but we don’t use it anymore back there
Italian: We are speaking English right now!

Me: - We went to the grocery and then we took a bus, later a train…
Friend: -Where are we?
Italian: - I’m travelling with some friends I’ll meet them in Innsbruck

Me: Do you have seats?
Friend: We don’t have much conversation, we can stare and smile though
Italian: Sure, Do you want to sit? (He was such a gentleman offering them a spot on the floor, Italians are way ahead from the rest of men)

Me: Did you mean older sisters?
Friend: Mums?
Italian: Yes, tell your friends they can come

They listened to the Italian and went to get the rest of the group, their mission was accomplished. We maintained a teen’s conversation for a while, it was like when you are twelve or thirteen and you talk with girls for the first times, but we were in our twenties. I can’t remember all of them; just the outgoing fatty, a regular one and a shy pretty one (Yes…) The thing that I do remember is that most of them were pretty daring.

From the beginning it was pretty clear that they were interested in us, they begged to take photos with us, they were excited and nervous and I have to say that we were enjoying the attention. After exploring the territory for a while they went into action. They started with the hook up questions:

Fatty: - Do you guys have a girlfriend?

Me: - Yeah, she is actually the train’s driver
Friend: - She is gone…death, but I didn’t do it… well yes, but I didn’t want to… she almost begged for it
Italian: - We broke up earlier this summer, it was painful after three years but we still… bla bla bla
(Are you fucking serious?)

Fatty: - Are you guys looking for one?

Me: - Yes, she actually disappeared two years ago Would you take a look to her picture?
Friend: - Yes, my blood thirst isn’t quenched yet
Italian: - I don’t think I’m ready to get involved in another relationship
(Dude… you need one with a shrink).

Fatty: - Do you think my friend is cute? (an ugly one).

Me: - Mmm…
Friend: - Mmmm…
Italian: - Mmmmm…

Fatty: - Do you think my other friend is cute?
(the shy and pretty one).

Me: - Mmm…
Friend: - Mmmm…
Italian: - Yes, I bet a lot of guys are after her

Fatty: - Do you think I am cute?

Me: - Mmm… Look how beautiful is that lake!
Friend: - Awesome lake!
Italian: - What lake?
(There isn’t lake buddy…)

Fatty: - Do you like anyone of us?

Me: - I think that you are not the worst human beings I have talked with
Friend: - That’s because I’m the worst human being he has talked with
Italian: - I would have to try you first je je (…)

While we were talking to them the rest of the more and less thirty teens in the camp were staring at us, proud of their daring girls making that situation ever weirder. Then my problem started. There was that girl, the pretty and shy, she was really cute, blond, nice smile, lovely, really beautiful… I would have fallen in love with her in the first second if I was fourteen but I was twenty-one. Her friends made her sit right on my side, forcing her to talk to me, but she was too shy and she blushed. I guess I got the pretty one of the group for once… (Score!)

For a while the conversation was only focused in hook up us together, and that was uncomfortable. I was single, the girl was pretty… But she was fourteen! It wasn’t a sex thing, she wouldn’t blow me or fuck me in that train, I wouldn’t try either of course (I swear) It was more like a platonic thing, fourteen years old love, hold hands, two kisses, nervous smiles… I needed to get out of there.

My friend helped me out, I didn’t want her to feel rejected or hurt or whatever, she was a sweet kind shy girl. So we told them we were too old for them, that we didn’t know Austria’s laws but that we thought that was a crime, and that we agreed on that. Honestly I always had a weird thing with younger girls, I don’t know why, but I always tried to hook up with older or same age girls, I would have felt really bad with a girl two years younger; I can’t imagine with an eight years younger.

With the help of my friend and after going to the bathroom, didn’t know how to lock the door. Pissing sitting down because trains move and I don’t like piss in my shoes. Witnessing how an old woman opened the door and everybody around the bathroom watched me pissing sitting down in a toilet. I could get out that situation. We convinced them that I was very tired and needed a sit, they offered their seats and I went to sit down while they kept talking to my friend and the Italian guy, who by the way acted like he was jealous instead of helping me out to get through that situation (We lost contact with him pretty soon)

Once on the seat trying to sleep, everybody of that camp excursion was staring at me. I couldn’t sleep at all, even though I had accomplished my train’s goal, I was nervous, the whole thing with the younger girl had disconcerted me. I kept thinking about how pretty she was, how she looked almost seventeen, how I look almost seventeen too, how I had taken advantage of a fourteen sweet shy girl and her friends to get a seat on the train, how I became a selfish person. I started feeling bad, I thought that my reaction wasn’t the most appropriate one. These are some better reactions to a younger girl’s interest in a train:

1/ Speak with honesty to the girl, tell her that she is pretty and that she must be worth a lot, but due to the difference of our ages our love is impossible (Of course, teenagers always run away from impossible loves)

2/ Tell her that I like her, give her a kiss. Get off on the next station pretending to be crying, waving from the outside to her while my friends console me (I have always wanted to wave to someone in a train station while crying)

3/ Exchange our personal information. Mail her and phone her everyday until she turns eighteen and then start a platonic relationship (She would wait for sure…)

4/ Once I was pissing sitting down exposed to everybody, call her and make her watch the spectacle (Her love would have ended there)

5/ Beg for her mother’s number (She was a beauty)

6/ Bring her to Spain. Isolate her of the rest of the world. Educate her by myself modelling her personality to be my perfect wife (I’d try to make her happy too)

7/ Ask the Italian to fuck her and leave me alone (He was seriously and dangerously interested)

8/ Make out with her and feel like a boy again (My life would have been very different then)

9/ Assume the state of a pederast and molest her (That’s what my teachers did with me)

10/ Take her to my house, lock her in the basement for years, have kids with her and then have kids with the kids (That’s pretty trendy in Austria)

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