Thursday, June 3, 2010

Reasons why I´m my own blog follower

Yeah, it’s true, I’m my own follower. That makes two followers already (I’m on fire). The truth is I’m awful with computers. I can hardly type my name… But lately I’ve been working in my blog’s merchandising; I made a Facebook account using the blog’s name. I don’t know why exactly I did that, that experience lasted for almost an hour though, I’m not going into Facebook never again in my life. If it was named Assbook, Boobbook or Cuntbook maybe I’d give it a chance, but since is just Facebook I’m letting it go. I explained in other entries why I don’t like social networks. (I’m an unsocial hermit, just to refresh)

But my merchandising didn’t stop there. I made me follower of a lot of other blogs. Of course I’m not reading anyone. I just thought if I made myself their follower they would come to my blog. But it doesn’t work like this, I spent almost an hour of my sadly life becoming in follower of blogs and then I found out it wasn’t worth it. My account’s name doesn’t lead to my blog, I don’t know why, but it doesn’t. So, I wasted an hour of my life and the only thing I obtained, is probably freak out two poor parents who make a blog to show their children’s pictures to their relatives. How would you feel if an unknown makes himself follower of a blog of your children’s pictures (Sorry, but I don’t know how to stop being a follower. PS: Your four year old girl looks fantastic on her new bathing suit)

After that successful move, I don’t know how but I found out that I had became my own follower too (I guess I make myself follower of so many blogs that I made me follower of mine by mistake) I tried to erasing me as a follower, but I don’t know how, so, for now on. I am my own follower. And I have to say, I’m pretty pissed with the treatment, followers need love from their blogger and I’m just getting sex… (Too twist?)

To be honest I kind of enjoy this whole thing of trying to show my stinky blog to the people out there. I don’t know much people who speak English so I can’t tell them about it. And I can’t go to a friend and tell him: Hey I’m writing this blog, read it and show it to your buddies. Because they wouldn’t understand shit, Spaniards don’t speak English, at least the ones who I relate with. The truth is that they freak out when I say that I can speak English, they see me like if I was some kind of genius freak. In the rest of Europe everybody speaks English, but in Spain and Italy we just don’t give a fuck of your language. And the amazing part is that despite of this, we fuck your girls anyways.

I know I said I’m writing this to improve my English, but even though I think I’m learning, since I’m here I want at least some crazy gang from Detroit or Portsmouth reading it. Feels so sad seeing that nobody is coming to this place… Is like when you rape and kill a woman, you go to prison and your friends don’t go to visit you (He had another sister suckers!)

Anyways, if you are reading this is probably because I found the way of make a good merchandising or because you spend weeks reading random blogs. Whatever it is, you must know you are reading a blog of someone who is his own follower. These are reasons why I’m my own blog follower:

1/ I’m the only person who finds me funny and I need support (I don’t find you funny at all sucker)

2/ I made myself follower of every single blog in the world (The Arabic blogs are the best ones with difference, and they are anonymous too, they always hide their faces)

3/ I’m bipolar and the one who is my follower is the idiot in the brackets (Leave me alone bitch! Don’t involve me in this, I’m not following shit)

4/ I wanted two followers in my blog to impress women (It worked, after explaining for hours what a follower and a blog is to my grandma, she looked pretty impressed)

5/ I’m my own follower because I am really and extremely stupid (You definitely are)

6/ In the satanic blog that I’m following they told me that the third step in hell’s search is becoming your own blog follower (At least the third one was way easier and cleaner than the first and the second)

7/ Due to my passion for porn, my computer is full of Trojans and virus, one of them made me my own follower (I have to start jerking off with a condom again)

8/ I’m not my own follower. I just run off of ideas and make up this whole thing to keep padding on (Awful idea then)

9/ The truth is I don’t even know what follower means (I’m just typing what my American cousin is dictating by Skype)

10/ I like following, which is most likely what I do all day. Following people is like the sweetest joy before revenge and getting pussy (Are you serious? You plagiarizing Tupac now?)

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