Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Things uncomfortable for me

I’m under the impression I’m always in uncomfortable situations. Not matter what I do I’m always ending up at weird situations. How should we react when we are uncomfortable? Nobody knows. I personally think the best reaction possible is just being quiet and don’t move hoping it ends. What is an uncomfortable situation for me you may ask? I guess exactly the same than for you. These are things uncomfortable for me:

1/ You are at home watching TV with your parents, everything is normal, you are watching some regular movie just getting sleepy when suddenly, the characters in the screen start kissing, getting naked and making an explicit sexual scene. It won’t last more than a minute or two, but within that period you will wish your instantaneous death (Calm down, this is uncomfortable for average parents too. The discomfort is easier to deal with when is shared)

2/ You are walking at the street with confidence and even cockiness, you see a group of pretty girls and for some reason you think spitting in the floor like a cowboy would make them love you. But you don’t spit well and your spit falls over your clothes and chin too. They watch it and laugh, these seconds you need for disappearing will be the longest ever (I need to train my spitting Damn it!)

3/ You are at the elevator with an unknown, this is uncomfortable by itself. But what do you say about those times for some reason you start laughing, you try stopping but you can’t and even though you try hiding the guffaw you fail and the unknown feels insulted (I can’t use elevators because of that, I think in the weird situation, laugh by myself and get in troubles)

4/ This is very recurrent but common too. You are at the street, you need to pee and you look for an isolated corner and go there. While you are peeing a grandma walks by with her grandchildren. What an awful feeling, is like if the time was stopped (Probably the grandma will criticize you out laud and make you feel even worse)

5/ You are at a familiar thing, there are some kids around. You are sitting at a table with the rest of relatives. One little cousin is playing with you and at some point without realising it because she is only five or whatever, she puts her hand in your genital’s zone. She leans in that particular part of your anatomy, you try to move her away carefully because you don’t want to be rude. You take her hand with yours, when you have your hand over hers and her hand is over your genital’s zone. You raise your head and see her father watching it with an angry gesture (Coldest sweat in history)

6/ You are alone at home, you decide is a good moment for jerking off a little bit. You start pumping on it. You finish, you look up and see a Hail Mary little statue which wasn’t there before and which means your grandaunt who happens to be your neighbour too have just entered, left it there and walked away (Why knocking the door when you are family right?)

7/ You are hanging out with friends, with relatives or in a plane or train with unknowns. Then some mystery force comes from a more mysterious source and with any sexual stimulus you get a boner. A difficult one to hide, you try to focus and make it go away, but it doesn’t go, just stays there making you really uncomfortable (I only know one way to make it go and it isn’t uncomfortable at all)

8/ You go to a public bathroom, you get in a booth but it smells really bad. You try to do your thing but you just can’t because of the smell and dirtiness. You get out the booth, someone was waiting, that someone enters in the booth and gives you a recriminatory look. You take the blame of something you are not responsible for and that sucks (Blame me if I shit in there. Don’t blame me if I’m just a victim like you asshole!)

9/ More public toilets, this is the territory of discomfort for excellence. You go to a bathroom inside the office where someone is working. You seat down on the toilet and start farting very hard while making strength to unload. The worst thing is knowing you’ll have to come out sometime (Work in an office with a toilet where your co-workers go shitting is very uncomfortable too. A good friend of mine was suffering that for a couple years already he didn’t take it very well. I hope he is resting in peace)

10/ You went out for jogging, biking or any else exercise. The thing is that you got very tired, you are sweating a lot, and you can’t even move and talk. Then someone taps your back. It’s some girl you like who you don’t have too confident with yet. She begins a conversation but you’re shaking, sweating and you can’t talk coherently. She ends up going away disgusted by you (Exercising is always an unhealthy thing to do despite what people can say)

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