Reasons why my English is so awful lately

Ok, lately my English has been stinking a lot, and that’s going to keep happening. The explanation is pretty simple, at the beginning I used to write my dumb stuff, sent it to my American cousin, he corrected it and then I published it. You may think we are idiots (I totally concord) But that was we used to do. Don’t forget that he is the one who asked me to write a blog to improve my English and he is very interested in me learning English (I don’t know to whom the fuck I’m talking… nobody is reading this blog)

The thing is that the guy has a live. He must take care about his own stuff. He has a lovely girlfriend, friends, relatives, studies, a professional career, some crimes to hide… He can’t expend his time correcting my nonsense bullshit. I can’t force him to do crazy things, I’m not a Christian anymore. That’s why I decided to start publishing posts without being corrected (This way you’ll be able to check how sad my English skills are for real)

The truth is we are the kind of idiots who write twenty episodes of a TV show nobody is interested in, who write several lame screenplays nobody cares about either, who make competitions between them where the winner is the one who goes to more different countries (expensive competition by the way) We are the kind of idiots who flip out with Goku and Vegeta, who venerate Larry David, who have a love to Bojan that verged on extreme homosexuality and who take advantage from our deaf relatives.

All that just means we are idiots enough to making a blog like this one and in the way we were doing it. Picture two adult people working hard in a blog nobody is reading. So, the point is, for now on, my posts will have this sad literature almost incomprehensible you are reading right now. So, this post’s goal isn’t other than trying to explain why I took these measures and why my writings became so awful in the last days. I don’t know if anyone could buy it. Just in case, these are other reasons why my English is so awful lately:

1/ I’ve been doing a lot of pot this month and my English has just disappeared from my brain (My Spanish too)

2/ I released the slave who was writing everything in this blog (I’ll miss you Toby)

3/ I’m dumber everyday (Dumbest is my goal)

4/ Due to the demolishing success of this acclaimed-for-the-critics blog, my cousin and I have been involved in an ego’s fight which ended in really bad terms (Rest in piece my friend)

5/ I thought my blog would be funnier if nobody understands anything I’m saying (That’s what happened to me with American’s sitcoms)

6/ I just think English must to be reinvented (I’m the Da Vinci of English right now)

7/ My English has been awful since the beginning, I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about here (Just take a look to the early posts… No you won’t!)

8/ I like raping English like Jamaicans do (English, women…whatever)

9/ My cousin was so slow correcting my posts that I just decided firing him (He just didn’t get that I had a public to attend… I have a follower already for God sakes!)

10/ My English hot teacher thought helping me writing a blog where I was humiliating her wasn’t the most honorable thing to keep doing (I really miss her…)