God damn evolution

Don't you think it's a shame that the only animal to have eventually reached rationality is the monkey? According to evolution We came from the Ape, and I find this extremely disturbing.

Just look at the monkeys, they act like idiots, totally freaks, jumping, screaming all over the place, behaving like freaking clowns. Gorillas suck as well, they are the same than monkeys but lazier because they are really fat. An let's not mention the fact that every single ape stinks. How could this retarded branch of species develop a brain fit for rational thinking? Why do shitty monkeys and not cool tigers, awesome lions, unbelievable eagles or amazing wolves have the honor?

Picture a world of highly developed felines, that would be awesome. Our sports would be way better and more spectacular. We wouldn't behave like idiots like we do, our women would be even prettier than the ones we have now (Don't look at me like that, just remember catwoman... Ok?) Felines are much cooler than apes and everybody knows it.

I'm glad to have developed a brain which allows me to think and have somewhat of a conscience about myself. But my point is that I would prefer to have a nicely sculptured feline body rather than this clumsy ape one, and that's evolution's fault. God damn it!